Manifestations of Anxiety

Today I am writing from a more personal perspective because the COVID-19 season is not academic, and no one is immune from human emotions.  For many this is a time of anxiety, at least in some moments.  Anxiety effects both mind and body and manifests in a variety of ways, maybe subtle and maybe overwhelming.  It may show up as fear, worry, restlessness, agitation, anger, or even panic.  It may disrupt your appetite, concentration, or sleep and may speak in the language of dreams.

One of those anxiety laden dreams showed up for me last night.  I was trying to lead a small group of people out of some city and was unable to find the way out.  It was not clear where we wanted to go or what we were trying to flee but we experienced one frustration after another.  The city was unfamiliar, and the streets kept changing.  I could not remember the street signs that may lead us out.  We walked up a steep hill only to discover it was the wrong way, and when we tried to turn back the path was covered with rising water.  I awoke, as is typical, before finding a resolution to the dilemma we faced.   It doesn’t take a psychologist to see the themes of helplessness and anxiety in that one.

 As stated before, anxiety strikes both mind and body and you must pay attention to both to manage it well.  I knew I needed some movement today so I took a walk and headed for a nearby woods.  I was hoping to feel peace there and sure enough the birds were singing, and the trees stood strong and silent, simply bearing witness to the season.  I also decided to walk through a nearby cemetery on my way home and noticed several people doing the same thing.  I realized as I walked that every single person buried in that cemetery had known fear and experienced the ups and downs of life, and yet again they stood bearing silent witness, reminding me that indeed everything will pass.  I noticed a particular headstone that stated, “Only three things last; faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love”.

Pauline Boss is a retired University of Minnesota professor and author of the book Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief.  She recently gave the sage advice to avoid extremes of “either/or” thinking during times like these and embrace “both/and” thinking.  For example, this is a scary and difficult time and I have the support and resources to get through it.  It is easy to think either in terms of denial or despair.  Denial helps us function in some ways so that we don’t walk around thinking about our mortality all of the time.  But denial is not helpful when you pretend there is not a real crisis just because it hasn’t hit you personally and you then behave in ways that endanger yourself and others.  Despair of course can be equally destructive and will generate fear and hopelessness in yourself and others alike.  Finding a rational perspective will empower you to cope in more constructive ways.

During moments of heightened anxiety, getting to your rational mind is easier said than done.  It requires slowing things down, calming the body and quieting the mind.  One approach many people find helpful comes from Emotional Freedom Therapy.  A particular exercise I like is one I have come to refer to as the “heart hug”.  Hold both hands across your chest as if giving yourself a hug, think of a both/and affirmation to say to yourself as you breathe.  Here are some examples: “Even though this is a scary time and I feel anxious, I know right now I am okay”.   “Even though I am upset, I can choose to take good care of myself and those around me”.  “Even though I feel out of control, I deeply and completely love myself”.  Hold your hands in place as you say the affirmation, then take three deep breathes.  Repeat this process three times and pay attention to how you feel when you finish.  Let me know how it works for you.  Wishing you peace.